A Prayer (2021)
Infinite Creator
All that you are, Fabric of Existence, Field of Potentiality
Fill me with your Grace, Help me to BE Peace
That I may heal these tired wounds
And be a beacon of your grace unto this world.
Oh Holy friend, devour me with your splendor
Help me to Be, to Hold, and to Behold the Beauty of the Truth of the Power of Love
Help me to real-eyes the truth of the light that I AM
I bow before the apparent play of events and karma
Beyond comprehension of the mind
I ask that your compassion be perceived, received, and expanded
As I express within and interact with the world.
May true surrender and forgiveness dissolve the veils blinding me to reality.
Help me to relish, or at least aspire to relish, the unfathomable display of phenomena.
Help me to have kindness and gentleness with myself and others
To open my heart courageously to the depth and truth of my woundedness
That I may alchemize suffering as it arises in my consciousness
Feeling it, loving it, and letting it go
Thus contributing to the enlightenment of the collective darkness.
I ask for strength and resolve
To feel the entirety and the complexity of energy in motion
To embody transformation as rain rises out from oceans
To allow and be present with it cycling through me
Forgiving and letting go, moment to moment.
Letting go of the narrative of identity
Glimpsing the ever-present absolute reality.
Help me to remember what I want:
Freedom even at the cost of “holding myself together”
Help me to stay focused and faithfully devoted
Help me to stay present as my essence, to want it passionately enough
Through the trials, until eventually the tests are passed
Great Wrathful Mother,
Slice away the illusory aspects of “me”
That I may awaken and emerge into freedom
I offer you all conditioning, every figment of my mistaken identity.
I offer you the scaffolding of every construct I have ever taken for granted.
Strip me of each layer of reference upon which “I” depend.
Help me to surrender the impulse to control and make meaning out of these layers.
Help me feel safe enough to explore beyond the confinement of self-aggression as an identity
Help me to forgive myself for the cruel tyranny I have known myself to show myself
To un-become the reaction to the triggers, to relate with them skillfully and lovingly
Help me to stop letting thoughts become demons, to allow my heart to open to knowing
That these “demons” are my wounds manifest, seeking my attention.
This is why they live.
May I transform them into objects of self-love.
Everything is energy.
Help me to liberate myself from the isolation of self-imposed crisis, from the self-handicapping, deeply painful fear of intimacy.
Help me to remember that all of those dynamics are not me, and not my fault, but a result of a deep wound that needs my devotion, compassion and patience.
Help me to embrace both the relative and the absolute, the ordinary and the meditative mind.
Help me to be an ambassador between what is involved internally and what gets acted out externally.
To hold space for the painful patterns of perception without feeling like a liar by omission, without bringing them into the shared field.
Help me to remember that my essence is available at any moment,
And that I am welcome, and deserve to be
unapologetically, authentically, gorgeously
open, available, playful, and curious
Without explanation of, or reference or loyalty to the continuity of contractions I have known myself as.
Help me to receptively embody and honor Life as Path, and the Force of Transformation
To fully surrender in genuine faith
To offer my heart to God, as God, of God
In essence, I am truly beautiful, I am truly love, I am truly genius, I am truly worth celebrating.
Help me to hold myself in truth and with respect and honor, to cultivate and share my essence.
Help me to open my heart to give and receive love with generosity, receptivity, and forgiveness.
Help me to shift my perspective away from scrutinizing my imperfections
To begin to feel into my life as a blessed adventure
To honor my path as somehow perfect, even when it feels confused and impossible
Help me to remember that the outside world will continue to reflect the painful chaos of the inner world, until it is healed.
The hardship and challenge is not personal. Help me to stay the path, to put it before all else, not with pressure and expectation but with fierce dedication and love.
Help me to hold my heart like a tender sprouted seed
To trust that the seed will grow beautifully, uniquely, vibrantly
Blossoming into a not-yet-known expression of the gifts I came in with, and continue to cultivate.
To honor the growth, the maturity, the conscientiousness, the empathy, the compassion…
The positivity which gets overshadowed by the turmoil of what’s occurred.
When that is resolved, the beauty that has been cultivated will stay.
It will be seen by myself, and the world. That is where my success will come from, in the form of unique and potent offerings that are currently perfectly gestating and will in perfect timing emerge as a healing force for myself and others.
For all of life.
Please Lucid Waters
Carry my gracefully
Away from my disbelief in my ability to become all that I can potentially be
As an artist, a healer, an innovative creator
Teach me how to court and channel inspiration as a divine and mysterious force, a precious gift
To attune this vessel in perfect gracious surrender,
To honor art as my primary path of devotion
And to move artistically and creatively through life and through my own darkness.
Ancestors who live through me
I bow to you and our history
With all the fractures, anguish, and injustice
I recognize my pain, fear, and confusion, as ours
I pray and I persist
To heal it in myself, in all of us.
Please send me all the blessed energy you can conjure
Embrace, support, guide and protect me.
Help me to keep my view as vast as the sky and my actions as fine as flour.
